Grace is Gone - Realistic

             

Grace is gone is a 2007 movie directed by James C. Strouse. It star John Cusack as the father of two girls Dawn ( 8 years old) and Hiedi (12 years old), who struggles to tell his children that their mom (his wife) has died in the Iraq war while serving.

            At the beginning of the film Stanley Philips (John Cusack) can be seen going to a support group for army spouses in which their other half are in battle. Him going to the support group itself depicts that he has trouble coping with his wife fighting in battle while he his at home. Besides that, he was the only male in the group,  this shows differences in the role male and female take in parenting. Stanley Philips and his wife Grace broke the usual norm of husbands going off for battle and wife staying back at home. This led him to take up the role as a mother as well while his wife was away, which was different and slightly difficult for him.

          When Stanley gets news that the his wife has passed away in battle, a series of episodes take place. Throughout the movie it shows his stages of grief, the five stages of loss and grief experienced by Stanley Philips can be seen through Elisabeth Kubler-Ross theory.

5 Stages of Loss & Grief
  1. Denial & Isolation (First reaction someone goes through when there is death of a love one is to deny it. This is a form of coping mechanism to cope with shock. One example is to block out words and hid from facts)
      -When Stanley Philips opened the door to see to army men on his door step, he refused to let them in at first but after awhile heard what they had to say. Even when he knew what happened he refused to tell his children about it just yet which led him to avoid it by taking them on a trip to enchanted gardens. Later you could also see him in his mothers house lying in bed isolating his self.

  2. Anger (When denial & isolation begins to wear down, reality and the pain which comes with loss of someone re-emerges, but one is still not ready to come with terms with the death. This is where anger emerges, anger may be aimed at friends, family or the person who had died.)
      - On the way to the Enchanted Gardens, Stanley stops by his mother's place in which he sees his slacker brother. Before getting on the road again, his brother gets a call about the death of Grace (his brothers wife) in which he confronts Stanley and asked why he hasn't told the kids. Stanley gets really angry and throws a fit in which his anger is outrages.

3. Bargaining ( Bargaining is done when someone tries to regain control over the situation so that the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability can be diminish, 'what if's' situations.)
   -Stanley can be seen calling home to hear his wife's voice and as well to talk to her. In one conversation with her he tell hers he does not know what to or how to tell the kids. He states as well that it should have been him out there and not her. That he should have gone for battle, in that way she would still be here.

4. Depression ( Associated with mourning)
    - Throughout the movie while Stanley is on the road with his kids, Heidi asks her father is anything is wrong as she can see sadness within him. He also acted differently, and avoided his the underlying issue by giving his kids everything they wanted such as ear piercing and watching tv till the next morning.
5. Acceptance ( finally coming to terms with the death of a loved one)
    - Stanley finally comes to terms with the death of his wife Grace when he stops at the beach and finally tells his children that their mom has passed away. One other reason why he could not tell his children earlier as well could be cause when he does, he must finally accept that he has lost his wife.

Insomnia
Moving on to Heidi, at the age of 13 she has insomnia. Symptoms of Insomnia are not being able to sleep at night, or lack of sleep. It causes day time sleepiness and feeling lethargic. Heidi, can seen falling asleep in class and when they were staying in the hotels, she can't sleep at night, sometimes she wonders off out of the hotel when she's awake in the middle of the night. The cause of this sometimes are psychological factors, one of it could be due to the fact that her mom left for war.

This story is about loss and some say it most accurately depicts how family of an army victim feel. John Cusack played a different role in this movie which was shocking to me, I am or well was only exposed to his rom com movies and this is well, refreshing.

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